Anticipation

This upcoming year, we have so much to look forward to..... The last week in February, we are going on a seven night, Western Caribbean cruise with some great friends, Floyd and Susan Cobb. Ray and I have known Floyd since we were 12/13, respectively. He was one of my best friends growing up, and Ray's as well. We went to Susan and Floyd's wedding and have managed to stay in touch over all of these many years. As much as we expect to enjoy the cruise and all that that entails, we are most excited about being there with our friends.

In late April or early May, we are planning to fly to Oregon, rent a car, and go exploring the north and central parts of the state and well as the west coast. We will dip into northern California to visit the Redwoods National Park, which is Ray's most favorite part of our trip. Seeing the giants has always been a big thing to him.

The following August, we will hook up the travel trailer and take off on a northern route, stopping to see friends and family in Illinois, Missouri, and Michigan. From there, we will head west, our destination - Glacier National Park. Our ultimate goal is to loop through Yellowstone, Grand Teton, hit eastern Oregon, and hopefully, Yosemite, before heading home. It looks daunting on the map. We'll have to see how it goes.

We've bought some excellent books on the area recommended by the Kestens. They have done all of the national parks and are great encouragers, as well as a fount of knowledge!

Looking back is important and reflection is necesssary, but, WOW!, looking head like this is really fun!

A New Year

As I sit here on a day I had looked forward to with so much anticipation, I have decided that being totally bummed out by changes in plans is also totally counterproductive. You know, the more special people are to you, the more you care about their happiness. So my pitiful "oh poor me, my plans are disrupted," it not only useless, it is selfish. When you love, truly love, you are no longer #1 in considering how disappointments should be handled.

I have so much to be thankful for. I never want to lose sight of the joy I receive from the people, family and friends, who are in my life. It isn't anything that they do, it is just enough that they are.

Why Are We Here?

‎"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
Leo Buscaglia

This quote, posted by a friend on FaceBook, struck a place in my heart.

I have always thought of myself as a caring person, but I have come to realize, later in life, that truly caring about someone means being a truly humble person. Sounds so easy, but if it were, there would be many more caring people in our world.

Humility smacks of being a pushover, being humiliated, being a doormat. But in reality, it is none of those. It simply means that you realize that we are all flawed and, as such, make mistakes and need understanding and forgiveness. Why would one worry so much about what others think of them, when most people are so wrapped up in themselves that they would welcome your interest and caring?

Here's the rub - just doing good things but for the wrong reasons, (like glorifying yourself) and not actually caring about others, what you have is false humility; you are a fake; you are in reality, a liar. It ain't easy being a truly caring person.

The one big reason I know that a should work on myself in this area is that I think of how truly caring God is. He knows my weaknesses and loves me anyway. Should I do any less?

I am blessed to have lots of people in my life whom I love, and who love me. I like to think that they know they can always come to me, talk to me, and ask me anything. I value them over myself. Now I must trust that I can expand this part of who I am to include those that I feel inferior to, that I think don't like me, and even those with whom I am frustrated or angry.

Remember to say the kind word, give a hug, encourage, listen, smile!

It is a good goal, I think. I will keep running the race....

Summertime at the Beach

"The Island"

This was the summer of fun, of no regrets, of relaxing, of feeling that being with family is the best time ever spent.

This was the summer of laughter: The Ultimate Dog Tease and the Not So Great Mystic Cat, on Youtube, going to the Mauraders game with Jenny and Tim, and having any conversation with Ben.

We felt complete, like a family should, even when it was just Ray and me.

The weather wasn't perfect, but it was.... calm, rough, hot, cool... no matter, we loved every day.

The first week we had regular morning visits from manatees, dolphins, and a pair of ospreys. Glorious!

We are happy to be home, but are ready to go back next year. I am so thankful and feel so blessed. 

PS   Oh my word! How could I forget Lily's "Oh my word," Sandi's pancake breakfast and homemade sour cream donuts, and Patrick's drawing/coloring awesomeness! 

Living In the Moment

Salutation of the Dawn

Look to this day!

For it is life, the very life of life.

In its brief course

Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:

The bliss of growth

The glory of action

The splendor of beauty,

For yesterday is but a dream

And tomorrow is only a vision,

But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to this day!

Such is the salutation of the dawn.

- Sanskrit Proverb

When we are young and raising a family, we are so busy. Living in the moment is not a problem; so much to do, day-to-day, that we rarely look very far in the future. Oh, we acticipate holidays and summer, but staying grounded in the "Now", is more of a given than a choice!

However, the one thing about life is that you can be sure that it will always be changing. When things are bad, what a relief to know that 'this' won't be forever. When things are awesome, well, we always ask "Why can't our lives always be just like this?", don't we?

Getting older and adapting to the changes that entails, can rob you of the joy of living in the moment if you are not careful. Having a grandchild is the absolute best reminder, for me, to live each day to the fullest. I want to stay healthy and happy, so I can't just sit around every day, feeding my face, and reading a book . Three of my very favorite things to do! Perfect examples of how too much of the things that you love, not only aren't good for you, they don't make you happy either. I want to enjoy every moment with Patrick as he is growing up. I want him to have happy memories of his Grandma and Grandpa when he is grown. He is God's special blessing for us as we go through our later years.

So Carpe' Diem, y'all!

Clarification

I removed my last post because I thought it sounded too much like I was whining or feeling sorry for myself. However, I don't mean to do either. So I reposted it since it honestly reflects how I have been trying so hard to not slide into an unhappy place.

After spending this weekend with so much family around, including our wonderful grandson and Jenny and Tim (who are not able to get over often), I know that I have turned a corner in this phase of my life. I just have too much to be thankful for to get bogged down in life's twists and turns.

I'll never be perfect, and that is OK. I am loved and have lots that I love as well.

Awesome!

Down the Rabbit Hole

OK, I have to admit to myself that the past few months have been a bit stressful. As I have acknowledged in earlier posts, I tend to worry.... alot. Knowing that I trust in God and that He is my strength, worry should not take such a hold on me. But sometimes, it just does. So this post is about the events and circumstances that have led me to this bottom of the rabbit hole feeling. That being said, it is obvious to me that God is not the problem here, just my human failing to pray, trust, and listen when He speaks. For this, I will ask for forgiveness - again - and because He loves me, I will be forgiven - again. But also, I am hoping that writing about the process will help me not sink this far again. God does work in wonderous ways!

One year ago, I retired from teaching. The right thing to do and the right time to do it. That given, it was a major change in my life that required a restructuring of my life.The bulk of my interactions with people were no longer primarily tied to my job and the bulk of my time was not spent preparing for and doing my job. Since I loved the majority of my students and the people with whom I worked, there was a major hole left in my life.

Our son and daughter-in-law separated and in the fall, he came back home and has been living with us while trying to put his life back together. Because he is also the father of our most wonderful and exceptionally smart (read genius =) grandson, we have reaped the benefit of having him here often as he visits his Daddy. Lots of love and time filled with happy activities. However, the more love, the more concern for the well being of the person. Watching those you love flounder and make questionable choices is awful. Figuring out the fine line to walk as they are doing those things is no picnic either.

My Mom is in assisted living and has been in a steady decline since 1998 when my Dad began having physical and mental issues due to the onset of dementia. From the beginning of this horrible process of dying, I have been there for them. I wanted to be there for them. I love them so much and they more than deserve all of the time and love I could give them as they went through this difficult time. My Dad died in 2001 and my Mom has continued her decline. She no longer recognizes who we are, although I think she knows we are someone special to her. I know she doesn't even recognize herself. Bottom line here: I no longer visit her regularly and feel tremendous guilt because I can't get past the sadness I see and feel there, especially since she and I no longer have any real interaction. Guilt is a bummer.

My wonderful husband retired in November and in most ways, he was dealing with the hole left by it just as I was. For the first time in a long time, we were around each other 24/7 for long periods of time and not surprisingly, we got on each other's nerves. I thought he was doing things that were just off the wall - no rhyme or reason- and the fact that he tuned me out when we were talking just about convinced me that all he cared about was himself. Well, anyone who knows us and our relationship that has been around since we were in seventh grade, knows that Ray loves me more than he loves himself. His "man-thing" of not listening was not new, it was just that I was confronted with it more. And, my lessening of interaction with others had deprived me of lots of the meaningful conversation I was used to. He accused me of not having a sense of humor any more because I was overly touchy about things he would say and do that he thought were just him being him. And he was right...

Add money issues to the retirement mix, and worry can take center stage pretty fast!

Now we have done some awesome trips around FL and a month long one to GA/NC/VA, that pretty much made me confront all of this worry and relationships issues. And guess what I discovered? Well, the problem is me.

We have wonderful friends that we love, trust and have known for 40+ years. Reconnecting with them has been a major bright spot. I am a reader and we often discuss what we have read and share titles. Well, they recommended "Blue Like Jazz", by Donald Miller. What a blessing! This book spoke to my own insecurities and my personal beliefs about what my relationship with God looks like. He just has a way of letting you into his head, and amazingly it is alot like what is going on in your own head.  He is one of the most original writers I have ever read. AND he is funny!

So, having said the problem is me, I realize that too often I thought about me first and foremost. My doubt, worry, insecurity, and jealousy, stem from an "everything is about me" mentality. "Whoa", I thought to myself as I realized that I blame myself for everything and constantly doubt that anyone could really like, much less love me. This is a form of self-centeredness that had never occurred to me. When God said, "Love your neighbor as yourself..", He meant I was supposed to love myself, as well. I am just not very good at it. To be good at something, you must practice it. I haven't, but I have decided, that with His help, I will.

So,hopefully, my "Rabbit Hole", that I have retreated to on so many occasions will be a place that resides in my past. My future will be spent in the sunlight of the love of my family, friends, and God.

(The link to Ray LaMontagne's song is a shout out to both the song and to him.)

The Need

 What a dumb time to start another entry... I have four minutes before I must get up and get going for the day. Patrick is still asleep; and so are his dad and grandpa. It is just Mom and Grandma who is up (she wrote with a smile=).

Actually, it's the role thing that I want to write about. You know, daughter, wife, mom, etc.  Or maybe it would be more accurate to say I want to write about the person who occupies those roles. Where is she?

The older I get, the less I think about who I was when I was young. This, I am coming to believe, is a major mistake. Because many of the things in life that made me a happy person as I was growing up, are things that I don't do any more. So am I still that person I started out as? I really do want to be that happy and stress-less again. So how do I find her? Is she gone forever?

Change.... when it happens gradually, we hardly notice; we just keep moving. Always dealing with the events of daily life, some happy, some not so much. But with little time or energy left over to play outside, read for fun, draw or write; I forget how to just do. Now that there is time, will I able to get out of my rut and find the joy of so much I left behind? I feel the need to try.

I will make a promise to push myself toward recovering lost joys. To push toward being happy as I pry myself out of complacency.

I love my family. I love my life. But I could be happier and more content with just a little effort and some change.

Truly Living Our Life - Some Quotes

People are like stained-glass windows.

They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,

but when the darkness sets in,

their true beauty is revealed

only if there is a light from within.

~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ~

                                                         ~~~~~~

If there were ever a time to dare, to make a difference,

to embark on something worth doing,

it is now.

Not for any grand cause, necessarily,

but for something that tugs at your heart,

something that's your aspiration,

something that's your dream.

You owe it to yourself to make your days here count.

Have fun.

Dig deep.

Stretch.

Dream big.

                                                         ~~~~~~~

Faith...

When you come to the edge of all the light you have,

and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,

faith is knowing one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid to stand on,

or you will be taught how to fly.

~ Patrick Overton ~

                                                              ~~~~~~

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur

when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.

For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort,

that we are likely to step out of our ruts

and start searching for different ways

or truer answers.

~ M. Scott Peck ~
(More to be added as I search.)

Understanding and Accountability

There is a very fine line between understanding a problem and then making excuses for why the problem exists.

As a teacher, I always wanted to know if students had learning issues. SLD, ADD, ADHD, dyslexia, processing/ordering/ visual/ auditory, etc. If you want a child to succeed, you must know their needs so you can use the best strategies to facilitate learning.  Did I require less quantity and quality sometimes for one student than I did for the majority? Yes. I expected what I thought was reasonable and doable for that student, at that time. But sometimes, a student would refuse to put forth the effort to learn, no matter what I did. Did he fail? Yes. Did I fail? I don't think so. Learning requires participation from both parties.

Traveling life's road, we owe it to ourselves to look at our own issues; not only for ourselves, but for those we love. Thankfully, there are educators along the way to help us. Friends, family, counselors, books, internet.... can all be part of the process. But we must be willing to explore our issues. And this often means exposing ourselves to painful realities of who we are or have become.

Alcoholism runs rampant through both sides of my family. That is a fact that I have been keenly aware of all of my life. I am very sensitive to my own enjoyment of wine, beer, and other types of alcoholic beverages. My guard has always been up.

But there are other traits and tendencies I have found wandering through my family tree as well. Traits that were not so obvious, but could bring you to your knees just as readily as alcohol - and did. Depression, other addictive behaviors, lack of focus/drive, the 'somewhere over the rainbow' syndrome. They are all sprouts on my tree.

The longer I live, the more I am sure that God doesn't expect us to be perfect. But He does expect us to learn from our mistakes. He expects us to do the best we possibly can with what He has given us. It goes back to being aware and putting forth effort. Being aware of what His expectations are; putting forth the effort to make changes that need to be made.  I believe that He will hold me accountable for how I lived my life. So, can I not do so as well?  I must continue the process, until my time runs out.

I know that God loves me. He loves me enough to hold me accountable for who I am and how I live out my time here on earth. I'm glad He doesn't make excuses for me... I want to get past my faults and failings and be a blessing to those I love.

The Little Things

As I reflect on my early years, I think about why I was such a happy kid. (My late teens not withstanding!) I really had a carefree existance. Free from worry; free from meanness; free from sarcasm; free to be me. As I got older, I realized that not all kids were as fortunate as I was. Even within my extended family, some of my cousins dealt with harshness and sarcasm during the whole of their growing-up years. I'm not sure that they have ever recovered from it either. To think of living your whole life and never feeling truly happy is probably one of the worst, if not the worst, thing I can think of. The one thing I am sure of is that happiness comes from the little things in life. Yes, we need to have a few of those take-your-breath-away happy times. But true happiness comes when your daily routine brings you joy.

This morning, as I was ironing Drew's pants and shirt, I realized how I enjoyed doing this particular thing for him. If I were ironing for myself, it would be just another tedious thing like putting on makeup or fixing my hair so I wouldn't scare people. Fixing Ray's first cup of coffee and taking it to him in bed makes me happy. It also makes me happy that he does the same for me. When he cleans up the kitchen after I have been cooking and/or working all day. This makes me joyous.  Remembering not to put fingerprints on the car that he so lovingly cleans, makes me happy. Love can make tedious things enjoyable at best, and tolerable at worst. Just small, ordinary, and sometimes silly efforts can make such a difference for others and yourself.

My parents were not complainers. And they were strict. They expected us to do what we were told and heaven forbid that we would ever talk back to them. They spanked us when we weren't minding if that was the only way to get our attention. The worst spanking I ever got was when my mother told my father that I talked back to her and did not do as I was told. I was about eight, and I never got another spanking after that. Honestly, I think it hurt him more (well maybe as much) as it did me. My younger sisters got fewer spankings when they got to be school age than I did. I imagine that, by then, my parents had decided that other methods were better than spanking. We always knew that they loved us though, even when they didn't say it all the time. All of us girls raised our children very much the same way, except we say "I love you " constantly. I think my parents would approve.

Life is hard. But thank goodness, not all of the time. If you look at your life and all you see is hardship, boredom, defeat, unfulfillment, regret; you will be miserable. There is not one person on this earth who has a life devoid of any of those things. The difference is in your perspective. The glass being half full or half empty metaphor has been used to death, but it does get the point across. You must choose to be happy. You must get outside of yourself and love making other people happy.

I am a genuinely solitary person. When I was growing up, my favorite things were to go exploring by myself or climb a tree and let my imagination run wild. I was never really comfortable with lots of people around. But, I did learn to be happy in groups as I got older when it became obvious that I was not going to be a nun or run away and be a hermit.  Kind of ironic that I became a teacher; last thing I ever wanted to do growing up; surrounded by groups of teenagers from eight in the morning until three in the afternoon, for 34 years. And for the most part, I was very happy during my teaching career. Remarkable!

Building happiness:
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

"The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being so except that they are so."

William Ralph Inge

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter I
I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost... I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.


Chapter II
I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in this same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.



Chapter III
I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it there.

I still fall in... it's a habit... but,

my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.



Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.


Chapter V
I walk down another street.



- Portia Nelson

*

* Reminder to self:  Strength is an attitude that builds upon itself.  If I want to be strong physically, then I must have the strength to actively seek it. The same goes for believing in myself and my own worth as a person.  Don't fall into the trap of lethargy.

Happy Days

You know, sometimes you wake up and you just know that this is going to be a good day. The worries of the day or night before don't seem so worrisome and the challenges don't seem so daunting.  Looking ahead holds promise, not dread. Self-doubt takes a back seat to a feeling of confidence that this will be a day of accomplishment.

I have always tried to live in the moment, trying not to always look forward to some specific time or event.  For the most part, I have been successful with that and it has helped to make me a happy, contented person.  Being a teacher, there is a great temptation to looking forward to holidays... long weekends.... SUMMER!  But honestly, I rarely did that.  Loving where you are has a major impact on how you interact with others.  That is not to say that you shouldn't plan ahead and make changes.  No, just that it is hard to have a positive outlook on life if all you can think about is stuff that is "around the corner," so to speak. And I have always wanted to impact those around me in a positive way, especially my family.

My worries about my immediate family have lessened a little. Jenny and Tim are taking more time for themselves.  I think they have turned a corner in their relationships with other family members and with each other.  This is due in great part to how they dealt with the loss of Linda, Tim's mother.  I am so proud of them both.  The nagging issues I have worried about the most, have softened as I have seen them come through one of the hardest situations one deals with in life.  Drew is also in a better place than he was just a few months ago.  He is happy with his job; has friends and co-workers that he enjoys; and can see light at the end of the financial tunnel.  As we have talked and shared our concerns and feelings about his separation, Patrick, and starting over, I see the promise of the man he can be shining in the man that he is.

Then there is us... the us that is a couple, parents, grandparents, and retirees!  As individuals we are dealing with a drastic change in our everyday life. Routines that kept our lives in order are being reworked. We stumble and occasionally we fall, but thankfully we both have a sense of humor!  We are more excited about the future than we are fearful. It is true that growing old isn't for sissies!  But all things considered, although we are treasuring our memories, we are so looking forward to making more of them.  Life goes on and we want to make the most of it.

So, there it is.  A kind of day that brings a promise of happiness and a future is what I strive to have every day.  Do I always succeed?  Of course not.  Does it matter that I try?  I believe it does.

Tomorrow

I believe in goodness and in doing good;
I believe in happiness and in being happy;
I believe in Christmas, all of it;
I believe in love and in loving;
I believe in responsibility and in doing my best to be responsible;

I believe in hope and in not giving up;
I believe that you can't have hope without having faith;
I believe that faith is simple and basic to life;
I believe that...

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,

And Say,
Oh!
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

I believe!

Call for Renewal

"I want to live in a world where our hearts are bound together. We need civility, understanding and kindness instead of this selfish, incredible incivility and mean-spirited cruelty that surrounds us today."  Peter Yarrow

In this season of love and grace, may we all be reminded of what God did for us.

Why then, don't we value life and each other more? Why has commercialism taken over our lives? What are we teaching our children?  Is there any doubt that evil exists in our world?
 
Look first in your heart; then look to God.
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

Have a great time on your trip!

Life is hard.  Life is worth living. Life is a canvas.  Life is an experiment. Life is a cabaret.  Lots of quotes and philosophies about what Life is, show up in every form of media that exists.

For me, Life is..... a journey, a trip, that each of us as human beings are on together.  We really are all in this together.  We make choices, some good, some not so good.  And we all reap the consequences of our actions.  That always sounds a little scary, but in reality, we reap lots more that are good than not.

But, Life is.... hard.  We get tired and worried and wonder what on earth is going on; and what if......!

When we are children, we look with trust to our parents for security, love, and happiness.  If you were blessed with parent(s) who gave you those things, you will most likely be a secure, loving, and happy adult.  But wait!  Once you are an adult, you realize what it took for your parent(s) to do all they did to provide for you.
They were tired, worried, and wondered what on earth was going on.  But they put themselves second and often were excellent actors, so that you could be the very best and happiest you could possibly be. 

In addition, if your parents were people of faith, then you were given a gift that is truly life-altering.  My parents lived their faith. That was the starting place for my own.  They never shoved their beliefs down their childrens' throats. Yes, we went to church all of the time, and it gave me additional information to help me on my spiritual journey.  But in our daily life, we were not forced to read the Bible and pray out loud, or any other routine except saying the blessing at meals.  Mostly, what I learned was that it is important what you believe.  So, since then, I have been seeking God's guidance and blessing as I continue on my journey. 

Right now I am feeling the need to re-read my very favorite Max Lucado book, Traveling Light.  I would highly recommend it to anyone; easily read, truly both moving and pertinent.

Here is a short description:

"Weary travelers.  You've seen them--everything they own crammed into their luggage.  Staggering through terminals and hotel lobbies with overstuffed suitcases, trunks, duffels, and backpacks.   Backs ache.  Feet burn.  Eyelids droop.  We've all seen people like that.  At times, we are people like that-if not with our physical luggage, then at least with our spiritual load.  Fear.  Worry. Discontent.
No wonder we get so weary. We're worn out from carrying that excess baggage.  Wouldn't it be nice to lose some of those bags?"
He goes on to use the twenty-third Psalm as a guide to why and how we should release some of the burdens we were never meant to bear.



OPTIMISM: "Play hard, laugh hard, and leave the worries to your Father."
Be a bottomless well of optimism flooded by a perpetual spring of faith.

— Max Lucado

Deja Vu

We went to Linda O'Brien's memorial service on Saturday. It was everything a memorial service should be. Friends and family reflecting on happy memories, laughter, tears, poems; all heartfelt. There were wonderful picture boards showing Linda's life as full and happy.  It was a reminder of the awesome importance of family. Family that extends to those you love and who love you, even those that are not related through your bloodline.  It was a time that began healing the broken hearts that most acutely felt her loss.  She was a person of deep faith.  For a quiet person, she was prone to humor, laughter, and smiles that lit her up from the inside.  She loved deeply and unselfishly. She was a person to remember and emulate.  Thankfully, her gentle, loving spirit can be seen every time you are around her children, Kathy and Tim.

A most special time during the service was a reading by her brother, Jim Harrer.  Both grandfathers were Lutheran ministers and Jim read from a book of prayers that had been passed down through the family.  The prayer was printed and read both in German and in English.  It is so beautiful and I would like to remember it and the moment always.

Abendlied                                                                              An Evening Prayer
Muede bin ich, geh zur Ruh                                           I am tired, go to sleep,
Schliesse beide Aueglein zu;                                        Close both my little eyes;
Vater lass die Augen dein                                             Father let Your eyes
ueber meinem Bette sein.                                              Be over my bed.


Hab ich Unrecht heut gethan,                                    If I have done wrong today,
seih es lieber Gott, nicht an.                                        See it not, beloved God.
Deine Gnab und Jesu Blut                                            Your grace and Christ's blood
macht ja allen Schaden gut.                                       Truly makes all bad things good.

Alle die mir sind verwandt ,                                        All that I care about,
Gott, lass ruhn in deiner Hand,                                  God, let rest in Your hand.
alle Menschen gross und klein                                    All people big and small
sollen dir befohlen sein.                                                 Should be following You.


Kranken Herzen sende Ruh,                                          Broken hearts send rest,
nasse Augen schliesse zu;                                              Teary eyes be closed;
lass den Mond am Himmel stehn                                Let the moon stand in heaven
und die stille Welt besehn.                                             And view a peaceful world.

Is that not beautiful?

At the end of the day, we stopped at the King's home to see the kids and Ben.  Only Shelby had come to the service.  What a treat - all of their children plus all of the cousins were out playing and running around.  They had been building a fort; or more specifically a series of forts. They were soooo smudgy with dirt, paint, and I don't know what all... They were beautiful!  After such an emotional day of reflecting on life and family, I was transported back in time to a place where life was simple and good.  A time where there were still troubles and problems, but their sharpness and ability to wound was less.  

At my age, funerals have a deju vu effect to them.  Older, younger, my peers - I have been touched in some way by each life whose funeral I attended.  But it is Life, not death, that I am reminded of.  The deja vu is the whisper of happiness, thankfulness, and faith.

" Fog this morning...adjust your schedule accordingly."

The weather - Even though in Florida we have LOTS of weather that is the same for long stretches, I faithfully watch the weather forecast on Channel 8 or Channel 13 in the morning. Habit? Probably. But, you know, I've learned that things can change pretty fast in life. So just maybe the weather bears watching. Right?

For instance. Today - first cup of coffee; Dave Osterberg with the weather; tropical depression now Hurricane Paula in the Caribbean; additional moisture resulting in some early morning fog. "Well", I thought to myself, "I'll go outside and take an awesome photo of the fog sifting through the trees." So I did. Not the awesome part, just the pic. But it is what happened after, that illustrates that good changes can come sometimes even when you think you are drifting along in sameness.

Because I got out of bed and out of the house, I was totally awake and refreshed when I came in. I read today's devotional from Charles Stanley which was on Advancing through Adversity. Quite appropriate considering Drew and his loss of job and place. The fog of change has descended big time. So I sent it to him, because it was uplifting and reaffirmed his efforts to keep on keeping on. Also, that he needs to trust in God's faithfulness to work for good in his life.

Then I got inspired to start this blog entry, because I also thought about our daughter-in-law, Sandi, and how she is being pulled between the joy of her trip to Germany and the reality of the "sameness" of life at home. Now, there is much that is wonderful and new and happy in her life here. And she has every reason to be optimistic. But the "fog" for her right now is the dynamic duo of relationships and money. That would be complicated and lack thereof respectively. It is hard to see that good things are going to come out of this. (And what is good anyway?)  But I have every reason to believe that they will based on past experience.

So here's to sameness and the fog of change. If life were always fun and easy then it would be the same all the time. How could we possibly appreciate the wonderful times? Fun and easy would seem stale and old.

It is because they don't happen all the time that they are so special.

A Happy Life

These are just some observations that are by no means original. But having had a roller coaster six months of highs and lows, after spending one day with our grandson has reminded me of how easy is it to be happy. Surround yourself with those you love and who love you. Eat and drink when you are hungry/thirsty. Enjoy where you are placed and look around to see why you should. Share your happiness because it comes right back to you. Kisses are also very important to share. And remember to be thankful for it all.