The Little Things

As I reflect on my early years, I think about why I was such a happy kid. (My late teens not withstanding!) I really had a carefree existance. Free from worry; free from meanness; free from sarcasm; free to be me. As I got older, I realized that not all kids were as fortunate as I was. Even within my extended family, some of my cousins dealt with harshness and sarcasm during the whole of their growing-up years. I'm not sure that they have ever recovered from it either. To think of living your whole life and never feeling truly happy is probably one of the worst, if not the worst, thing I can think of. The one thing I am sure of is that happiness comes from the little things in life. Yes, we need to have a few of those take-your-breath-away happy times. But true happiness comes when your daily routine brings you joy.

This morning, as I was ironing Drew's pants and shirt, I realized how I enjoyed doing this particular thing for him. If I were ironing for myself, it would be just another tedious thing like putting on makeup or fixing my hair so I wouldn't scare people. Fixing Ray's first cup of coffee and taking it to him in bed makes me happy. It also makes me happy that he does the same for me. When he cleans up the kitchen after I have been cooking and/or working all day. This makes me joyous.  Remembering not to put fingerprints on the car that he so lovingly cleans, makes me happy. Love can make tedious things enjoyable at best, and tolerable at worst. Just small, ordinary, and sometimes silly efforts can make such a difference for others and yourself.

My parents were not complainers. And they were strict. They expected us to do what we were told and heaven forbid that we would ever talk back to them. They spanked us when we weren't minding if that was the only way to get our attention. The worst spanking I ever got was when my mother told my father that I talked back to her and did not do as I was told. I was about eight, and I never got another spanking after that. Honestly, I think it hurt him more (well maybe as much) as it did me. My younger sisters got fewer spankings when they got to be school age than I did. I imagine that, by then, my parents had decided that other methods were better than spanking. We always knew that they loved us though, even when they didn't say it all the time. All of us girls raised our children very much the same way, except we say "I love you " constantly. I think my parents would approve.

Life is hard. But thank goodness, not all of the time. If you look at your life and all you see is hardship, boredom, defeat, unfulfillment, regret; you will be miserable. There is not one person on this earth who has a life devoid of any of those things. The difference is in your perspective. The glass being half full or half empty metaphor has been used to death, but it does get the point across. You must choose to be happy. You must get outside of yourself and love making other people happy.

I am a genuinely solitary person. When I was growing up, my favorite things were to go exploring by myself or climb a tree and let my imagination run wild. I was never really comfortable with lots of people around. But, I did learn to be happy in groups as I got older when it became obvious that I was not going to be a nun or run away and be a hermit.  Kind of ironic that I became a teacher; last thing I ever wanted to do growing up; surrounded by groups of teenagers from eight in the morning until three in the afternoon, for 34 years. And for the most part, I was very happy during my teaching career. Remarkable!

Building happiness:
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

"The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being so except that they are so."

William Ralph Inge

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter I
I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost... I am hopeless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.


Chapter II
I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in this same place.

But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.



Chapter III
I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it there.

I still fall in... it's a habit... but,

my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.



Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.


Chapter V
I walk down another street.



- Portia Nelson

*

* Reminder to self:  Strength is an attitude that builds upon itself.  If I want to be strong physically, then I must have the strength to actively seek it. The same goes for believing in myself and my own worth as a person.  Don't fall into the trap of lethargy.

Happy Days

You know, sometimes you wake up and you just know that this is going to be a good day. The worries of the day or night before don't seem so worrisome and the challenges don't seem so daunting.  Looking ahead holds promise, not dread. Self-doubt takes a back seat to a feeling of confidence that this will be a day of accomplishment.

I have always tried to live in the moment, trying not to always look forward to some specific time or event.  For the most part, I have been successful with that and it has helped to make me a happy, contented person.  Being a teacher, there is a great temptation to looking forward to holidays... long weekends.... SUMMER!  But honestly, I rarely did that.  Loving where you are has a major impact on how you interact with others.  That is not to say that you shouldn't plan ahead and make changes.  No, just that it is hard to have a positive outlook on life if all you can think about is stuff that is "around the corner," so to speak. And I have always wanted to impact those around me in a positive way, especially my family.

My worries about my immediate family have lessened a little. Jenny and Tim are taking more time for themselves.  I think they have turned a corner in their relationships with other family members and with each other.  This is due in great part to how they dealt with the loss of Linda, Tim's mother.  I am so proud of them both.  The nagging issues I have worried about the most, have softened as I have seen them come through one of the hardest situations one deals with in life.  Drew is also in a better place than he was just a few months ago.  He is happy with his job; has friends and co-workers that he enjoys; and can see light at the end of the financial tunnel.  As we have talked and shared our concerns and feelings about his separation, Patrick, and starting over, I see the promise of the man he can be shining in the man that he is.

Then there is us... the us that is a couple, parents, grandparents, and retirees!  As individuals we are dealing with a drastic change in our everyday life. Routines that kept our lives in order are being reworked. We stumble and occasionally we fall, but thankfully we both have a sense of humor!  We are more excited about the future than we are fearful. It is true that growing old isn't for sissies!  But all things considered, although we are treasuring our memories, we are so looking forward to making more of them.  Life goes on and we want to make the most of it.

So, there it is.  A kind of day that brings a promise of happiness and a future is what I strive to have every day.  Do I always succeed?  Of course not.  Does it matter that I try?  I believe it does.

Tomorrow

I believe in goodness and in doing good;
I believe in happiness and in being happy;
I believe in Christmas, all of it;
I believe in love and in loving;
I believe in responsibility and in doing my best to be responsible;

I believe in hope and in not giving up;
I believe that you can't have hope without having faith;
I believe that faith is simple and basic to life;
I believe that...

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!
Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!
When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,

And Say,
Oh!
The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

I believe!

Call for Renewal

"I want to live in a world where our hearts are bound together. We need civility, understanding and kindness instead of this selfish, incredible incivility and mean-spirited cruelty that surrounds us today."  Peter Yarrow

In this season of love and grace, may we all be reminded of what God did for us.

Why then, don't we value life and each other more? Why has commercialism taken over our lives? What are we teaching our children?  Is there any doubt that evil exists in our world?
 
Look first in your heart; then look to God.
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke)

Have a great time on your trip!

Life is hard.  Life is worth living. Life is a canvas.  Life is an experiment. Life is a cabaret.  Lots of quotes and philosophies about what Life is, show up in every form of media that exists.

For me, Life is..... a journey, a trip, that each of us as human beings are on together.  We really are all in this together.  We make choices, some good, some not so good.  And we all reap the consequences of our actions.  That always sounds a little scary, but in reality, we reap lots more that are good than not.

But, Life is.... hard.  We get tired and worried and wonder what on earth is going on; and what if......!

When we are children, we look with trust to our parents for security, love, and happiness.  If you were blessed with parent(s) who gave you those things, you will most likely be a secure, loving, and happy adult.  But wait!  Once you are an adult, you realize what it took for your parent(s) to do all they did to provide for you.
They were tired, worried, and wondered what on earth was going on.  But they put themselves second and often were excellent actors, so that you could be the very best and happiest you could possibly be. 

In addition, if your parents were people of faith, then you were given a gift that is truly life-altering.  My parents lived their faith. That was the starting place for my own.  They never shoved their beliefs down their childrens' throats. Yes, we went to church all of the time, and it gave me additional information to help me on my spiritual journey.  But in our daily life, we were not forced to read the Bible and pray out loud, or any other routine except saying the blessing at meals.  Mostly, what I learned was that it is important what you believe.  So, since then, I have been seeking God's guidance and blessing as I continue on my journey. 

Right now I am feeling the need to re-read my very favorite Max Lucado book, Traveling Light.  I would highly recommend it to anyone; easily read, truly both moving and pertinent.

Here is a short description:

"Weary travelers.  You've seen them--everything they own crammed into their luggage.  Staggering through terminals and hotel lobbies with overstuffed suitcases, trunks, duffels, and backpacks.   Backs ache.  Feet burn.  Eyelids droop.  We've all seen people like that.  At times, we are people like that-if not with our physical luggage, then at least with our spiritual load.  Fear.  Worry. Discontent.
No wonder we get so weary. We're worn out from carrying that excess baggage.  Wouldn't it be nice to lose some of those bags?"
He goes on to use the twenty-third Psalm as a guide to why and how we should release some of the burdens we were never meant to bear.



OPTIMISM: "Play hard, laugh hard, and leave the worries to your Father."
Be a bottomless well of optimism flooded by a perpetual spring of faith.

— Max Lucado