Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Losing Hurts

"Mama whispered softly, time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, how can I help you to say goodbye
It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry
Come let me hold you, and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye"
(Lyrics by Patti Loveless)

No matter whether it is a friend who moves away;
a hard fought competition that is lost;
a pet who dies;
a marriage that ends;
a job that disappears;
a beloved relative who dies;
It all hurts.
It is all inevitable.
And we must expect the pain if we also want the joy.
No one makes it through life without some disappointment and sadness.
But we all need someone who is there for us.
Who feels our pain.
Who wants to make it better.
Those of us with a Mom or Dad who has been that person are truly blessed.
Those of us with a spouse who becomes that person are truly blessed.
Those of us who become that person are truly blessed.
People are important.
Each of us needs to take more time to remember and give thanks for the blessings in our life.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Joyous Pain

Why is it that we, as parents, spend so many years preparing our children to be independent, successful, and happy? When what that really means is that we, as parents, must also be preparing ourselves for the enevitable pain of letting go.

Our hearts, lives, and outlook changes forever when we have children. We are not the same ever again. I would not want to be that pre-child person either! Because of being a parent I was a better teacher. Just think, the 34 years of my working life would have been less satisfying. Perhaps, I might not have known what I was missing, but I certainly understand now. They were never just 'students'. They were someone's child. I treated them like I hoped other teachers treated my children - seeing them as individuals with infinite potential who deserved the best I could give them. And some of them left lasting imprints on my heart.

So our hearts are wrenched and torn; separation is so painful and so inevitable. Once again we are thankful for their successful moving on, but we must learn to live with the pain of their leaving. Change our routine, look for other thoughts to fill our minds, and remember the blessing of this joyous pain.

Then something happens that changes everything. A grandchild! Oh dear.... here we go again!