Friday, April 29, 2011

The Need

 What a dumb time to start another entry... I have four minutes before I must get up and get going for the day. Patrick is still asleep; and so are his dad and grandpa. It is just Mom and Grandma who is up (she wrote with a smile=).

Actually, it's the role thing that I want to write about. You know, daughter, wife, mom, etc.  Or maybe it would be more accurate to say I want to write about the person who occupies those roles. Where is she?

The older I get, the less I think about who I was when I was young. This, I am coming to believe, is a major mistake. Because many of the things in life that made me a happy person as I was growing up, are things that I don't do any more. So am I still that person I started out as? I really do want to be that happy and stress-less again. So how do I find her? Is she gone forever?

Change.... when it happens gradually, we hardly notice; we just keep moving. Always dealing with the events of daily life, some happy, some not so much. But with little time or energy left over to play outside, read for fun, draw or write; I forget how to just do. Now that there is time, will I able to get out of my rut and find the joy of so much I left behind? I feel the need to try.

I will make a promise to push myself toward recovering lost joys. To push toward being happy as I pry myself out of complacency.

I love my family. I love my life. But I could be happier and more content with just a little effort and some change.