Daily Blessings

Just back from a walk with Molly and Dash. Well, not quite just back.... I had to stop sweating and Jenny called and we talked quite a long time. YEA!

Anyway, the puppies and I walked a few blocks and then came back down the canal near our home. Now this canal is more like a creek and is like being in another, less scorching hot world.

We all walked in the water. Molly and Dash were sniffing new smells and chasing waterbugs and whatever else their imagination saw. I was relishing the coolness and the calm reassuring sound of the wind through the pines.

I hope we can live here until we can't! And that I have many more opportunities to do and share these simple things in life that bring me so much joy. It is truly a special place.

Thankfully, both Ray and I feel this way.

Permanence

Permanence is not something our society values. This devaluing is just more evidence of how far we have fallen into the trap of selfishness and materialism. Attitudes that are so prevalent that they are rarely even questioned any more.

I have saved writings from emails, books, and other various sources over the years. Some things just speak to you and you don't want to forget them! The following is one of my special favorites that I would like to be a part of my reflections. So I won't forget....

Some Things You Keep

Some things you keep. Like good teeth. Warm coats. Bald husbands.
They're good for you, reliable and practical and so sublime that to throw them
away would make the garbage man a thief.
So you hang on, because something old is sometimes better than something new, and what you know often better than some stranger's ideas.

These are my thoughts. They make me sound old; old and tame, and dull at a time when everybody else is risky and racy and daring and flashing all that's new and improved in their lives. New spouses, new careers, new thighs, new lips.
The world is dizzy with trade-ins. I could keep track, but I don't think I want to.

I grew up in the fifties with practical parents - a mother, God bless her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then re-used it.
A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones.

They weren't poor, my parents, they were just satisfied. Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away.
I can see them now, Dad in trousers and a tee shirt; Mom in a housedress. Dad pushing a lawnmower and Mom in the kitchen.
It was a time for fixing things - a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress.

Things you keep.

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, re-heating, re-newing! I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant there'd always be more.

But then my father died, and on that clear autumn night, in the chill of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any 'more'. Sometimes what you care about most gets all used up and goes away, never to return.

So, while you have it, it's best to love it and care for it and fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. That's true for friends, marriage, and old cars, and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and blind cats.
You keep them because they're worth it; because you're worth it.

Some things you keep.

(Thanks to Sheri Sobek)

Babies!

Being a "grandma" truly is alot like all of the cliches I've heard over the years.
1. It's wonderful; you get to enjoy them, then give them back to their parents.
2. Thank goodness you have babies when you are young - they take so much time and energy.
3. Loving a grandchild isn't quite the same as loving your own children because your children are entirely your responsibilty; all you have to do is the "love without reservation" part with a grandchild.
And so on.....

But being a grandparent is a reality check, too. Hey! I am almost 65 and still concerned about my children's happiness and well-being. But it does bring back the wonderful memories of babyhood that are so hard to enjoy when they are happening. Think tired, out of shape, uncertainty, too much responsibilty, not enough time or money..... Still, the infant and toddler stages were so special and it is a wonderful thing to reflect on as a mom.

We were blessed with happy, healthy, babies! I'm not sure we even have any pictures of them crying. Our daughter, Jenny, has told us that she is so thankful for having a childhood where she could just be a child. No drama, lots of love, and never a dull moment! Our Drew was just as happy and full of energy, if not more so. They were water babies and still are.

But eventually our fledglings had to leave the nest. All of our lives changed and moved on. But nothing changed about how much we loved them and wanted them to be happy.

Now we have more family to love and enjoy. We were blind-sided by the breakup of Drew's marriage to Sandi. I am still a little bit in denial there. And I wish things were different; 'If wishes were horses....'. Love isn't something I can turn off. I am thankful that Sandi still thinks of us as family. Otherwise, this would be even harder to bear. Jenny and Tim have had their bumps in the proverbial road, but have weathered them well. Didn't stop me from worrying and losing sleep, though. :-)

So, babies grow best with love and security. Then they fledge, and you must let them go through life and learn their life lessons, just as we did. And continue our loving, caring, and being concerned as they do.

Catch Up!

Reflection just happens! I am out mowing the yard, and ZAP, I think how often I mowed our yard when I was growing up. Funny, I don't remember my younger sisters having to mow! But, I never really minded; it was fun being outside and it had a beginning and an ending; I had accomplished something and it helped my family.

After I got married, Ray mowed most of the time, although I pitched in occasionally. Mostly I was busy with children, school, and the house. The house was definitely at the end of the list. I have never been a good "housekeeper," even though I admire those who are. But the slack was always picked up by my wonderful and infinitely patient husband, Ray. He has washed more dishes and clothes, vacuumed and cleaned the bathroom, more than any wife has a right to hope for.

So, now I am playing "catch-up"! I mow; I wash; I fold; I dust; I organize; I fertilize; I vacuum; Gosh, this really IS a full time job!

I am finding my way in this new phase of life and liking it alot. Another bonus is being able to pray, read the Bible, and focus on getting my spiritual house in order as well.

Psalm 51 says, "Create in me, a clean heart O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." My life, like this Reflection, is a work in progress.

The Blind Side

I love my life. Granted, there have been times when I didn't; when I thought I was going crazy, so sad I might die, so worried I might totally collapse, so sure that I was supposed to be more than what I was.
That being said, I can truly say I have been blind-sided and truly sad, worried, and depressed, just a few times in my life. So, I am starting with the negative, because the list is pretty short.

1991 was NOT a very good year!
My brother-in-law, Pam's husband, Kevin, died unexpectedly.
Jenny and her then boyfriend, Tim, quit college and ran away to Arizona; when they left, they told no one, and did not contact us until about twenty-four hours after they left. Thankfully, Jenny called us. I don't know if Tim ever called home.
Drew was playing with a friend on the roof of his school and fell off, breaking his femur; this required traction, a body cast, and wheelchair for months. Once I gave thanks that he survived the fall, I ran on coffee and adrenaline the whole time.
Gosh I was glad to leave this year in the heavy dust of memory.

Worries about our children really aren't negatives. So I will leave those for other posts.

Losing my dad, grandparents, and other relatives I love, I don't think of as negatives either. I know I will be with them eventually. Though, I miss them each and every one. I miss my mom too. Even though I still have her, there are only remnants of this beautiful, dear, caring person whom I have loved my whole life and whom I still love.

So, the ups and downs of life continue. And truly, I may have to add a couple more things to my "blind-sided" list. But even so, God has been so good to me! There were so many times where I could have ruined my life, but somehow He got me through with few scars. Have I said "Thanks" today?

It's me, it's me....

Well, I guess it is time. I've been talking to God and He has been telling me to write since I was a child. My daughter-in-law, Sandi, has also inspired me to blog instead of writing this all out by hand. My children have dragged me kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century! I even text now. :-)



At any rate, I do think it is important to record some specifics for my children and grandchildren (hopefully, they will be plural). But I also have a story to tell about life; my life, and the lives of those I love and those whose lives have touched mine in some way.



So, I'll have to do lots more praying and thinking to figure this out. But I'm glad to begin something new at this stage of my life.



For the record: At this time I am 64 years old; I have just retired from teaching for the second and last time; Ray and I have been married for forty-two years; I just applied for both Medicare and Social Security benefits; and I honestly don't feel as old as that sounds!